Note to self ... and an SV!

I made myself some mashed sweet potato and had it with 60 g of tuna for dinner last night. Four forkfuls later and nothing would else would go down, not a pleasant experience. I got through my first pb'ing episode after after a bit of trial and error. I thought a bit of water would help and it just made things worse. I've learned my lesson, I was trying to eat way too quickly and not chewing enough  -- a guaranteed recipe for disaster. After I got the offending bits up (sorry if TMI) I was able to enjoy the rest of my meal albeit at a much slower pace with smaller amounts at a time.

I had an SV this morning! I'm following a similar weigh-in routine  to Catherine and Cara  and I am now in the 260's. I've reached my second goal, yay me! Still a long way to go, but heading in the right direction.

I was planning to check out some treadmills while M is at work, but it's minus 18 degrees celcius here in Toronto (about 1 Farenheit) and I'm not looking foward to facing the cold. It's still early so hoping it will warm up a few degrees.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

Mushies!!

The photo above was this morning's breakfast. A scrambled egg and 1/2 jar of organic baby food (peach). I could almost wax poetic over it, can you tell I enjoyed it? I bought the miniature forks and spoons when I was in Japan a few years ago and they're quite handy for limiting how much food I can put in my mouth at a time.

I can eat anything as long as it's puréed;  what are/were some of your favourite mushy foods?

Mindful vs. Mindless Eating

While I was having my lunch-time meal of soup today I realized that during the past roughly 3 ½ weeks I have been eating with thought. In the past I ate when I was bored, stressed, angry, happy, unhappy, lonely, because the food was there, because I didn’t want it to go to waste, because I deserved a reward and just because. Very rarely was it driven by true hunger.

When I began the pre-op diet I was determined to follow it to the letter and it was tough in the beginning but I stuck with it. I looked forward to each meal and relished each one although I was having the same things day in and day out. It felt good eating things that were good for my body and for the most part unprocessed.

Post surgery I have been eating the same way. It takes me about half hour to finish my protein shake breakfast and I enjoy each mouthful. Lunch is soup and I take the half hour at work to enjoy each spoonful while I look out my office window rather than what I used to do -- gobble something down in between responding to emails and phone calls. Dinner is also soup and again I take the time to enjoy each spoonful. Tomorrow I get to move to purées and I plan to continue eating the same way. Part of it is dictated by the band; I can’t eat nearly as quickly as I used to and the other is that I appreciate every morsel now that I am eating much smaller portions.

Eating mindfully has made it easier; it is no longer being miserable over what I can’t have but rather enjoying what I can.

Scars

I finally removed the surgical steri strips and was happy to see that 3 of the total 4 incisions are very small, less than the diameter of a pencil.  Removal  really didn't hurt except for the incision near my port which is about 4 cm (1.5 in) in length. My incisions were sutured below the skin and glued. All have closed up nicely which allowed me to begin my treatment regime.  I began researching how to care for surgical scars a while back (I have a compulsive need to research  everything). The doc at my surgical centre recommended Bio-Oil which I've used  before. In my research however, I came across rosehip seed oil which is what I've started using. It is supposed to be good for minimizing scars and preventing the formation of keloids which is the thing I am  most concerned about. I've only been using it for a couple of days now so maybe in a month or two I'll be able to say more definitively that it's as good as it's touted to be.

I am now in the market for a treadmill (yes I'm researching that too :)) and M has started setting up a workout room for me, well both of  us. I've wasted many a gym membership in the past and don't want to go down that road again. I realize that working out at home is the best option for me right now. There are many yoga, dance and spin studios in the area which I will take advantage of once I get back in the exercise routine, but  I plan to ease into it slowly. After all it's a journey right? I'll have to confirm when I can actually start exercising again, but for right now I'm enjoying the leisurely strolls through my neighbourhood.

One week post-op and new followers!

Hello to all of you who are now following my blog! Isn't Amy W. great? I would like to follow your blogs as well, but there are a few that I'm not able to link to; please post your address in comments. I'd love to read about how everyone is doing.

It is officially one week since I've been banded and I feel good today. Although I did not have very much pain after surgery, I was a bit sore. During those first few days I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. That's all gone now and I get to remove my bandages tomorrow. I'm going to wait until Saturday though as I'm a bit scared to see what's hiding beneath those strips.

So after a bit of mulling I stepped on the scale today (first time since surgery). I wasn't sure how I would react if I had gained, but wouldn't have been too bothered if I had not lost any. I'm down a few pounds, and just 4 pounds away from my second goal of 270. Today is also the first day that I've felt a bit hungry, I'm starting to fantasize about the scrambled egg I'll be able to have next Tuesday. I'm still in the full fluid stage and get to move to puréed foods next week. Can't wait!

Back to Work

This is my second day back to work post surgery and so far it's been fine. For the most part I sit in front of a computer all day so I don't have to worry about over-exerting myself. I do find myself out of breath which really isn't normal for me. I am a fast walker and on my 15 minute walk yesterday I had to walk at maybe half my speed. I guess my body is still healing so I'll just make note of it for now and see if it improves by the weekend.

I got to have my first full fluid drink this morning. I thoroughly enjoyed being able to have a protein shake for breakfast and am really looking forward to the strained butternut squash soup I'll be having for lunch. I didn't think I'd ever be so excited over soup.

I haven't weighed myself since surgery, I'm kind of scared to. What if I haven't lost any weight? I know that some people don't and I don't know how I will react if I haven't. I'm going to mull on that one and perhaps wait until the weekend.

I don't have any soreness, but find that I can't sleep through the night. Hopefully that will go away soon, it's no fun waking up 2 1/2 hours before the alarm is set to go off. Also, occasionally my hand will brush over my port when I'm lying down and it kind of freaks me out. I just try to avoid it, I'll get use to it I'm sure. Sleeping in general has been a bit of a challenge as I normally sleep on my stomach and I've been trying to sleep on my back. I use 4 pillows which helps a little, but still not very comfortable. Thankfully we have a king-size bed so I've made a zone for myself. M has been asking every night when the pillows will go away -- not to snuggle or anything but because he normally uses 2/3 of the bed. Maybe I'll keep the pillows for a bit longer than I need to ;).

The day after surgery

I've been banded for about 36 hours now, it seemed so far off for so long and now it's real. It was kind of surreal for me yesterday, as I met with the nurses, the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, I kept thinking "am I dreaming all of this?". I had not had surgery before and never had to be put under anesthesia so I must admit although I was calm for the most part a bit of nerves kicked in on the walk to the operating room.

The last thing I remember is the O.R. nurse telling me to think of something good and me thinking, "hmmm this anesthesia isn't kicking in, I think it's going to take a while". Next, I'm waking up in the recovery room. I felt really tired and my chest hurt but that was about it. I was able to walk from the recovery room to the resting room where I napped for a couple of hours. I drank a bit of water and M came to pick me up and and 15 minutes later I was home.

So how does it feel to be banded? Well, surprisingly not too bad. My chest still hurts. The gas is trapped in there and doesn't seem to want to come out. I've been doing lots of laps in the house, walking up and down the stairs to get things moving. I'm also drinking all of my liquids through a straw so that I don't accidentally gulp. I'm a bit sore, like I've done 100 sit-ups but I've only had to take a couple of Tylenol(crushed of course) since surgery.

I met my pre-op diet goal when I weighed in at the surgery centre yesterday! I've lost exactly 15 lbs. A great way to start off my banded life.

Day 13 pre-op diet and musings the night before surgery

I'm almost at the end of the final day of the pre-surgery diet and looking back it hasn't been that bad. I actually stuck with it although the first few days were pretty tough.

When I first began looking into lap-band surgery I was more curious than anything, then I learned the cost and thought I couldn't possibly spend that much on myself. Two years later and probably 30 or more pounds heavier, I know I'm making the right decision for me. Over the last decade, since my early 20's, I've probably gained close to 10 pounds every year. There have been various diet attempts along the way and I had some success, but nothing that I could ever maintain.

I began making excuses for not going out. I just felt embarrassed about my ever increasing weight and more so my inability to control it. Slowly, some friends stopped calling. I don't blame them, they probably thought I no longer wanted to spend time with them or no longer valued their friendships. I couldn't express it and embarrassment ruled. Looking back I know that they wouldn't have thought any less of me or loved me any less but most of my girlfriends are petite, small boned girls who've never struggled with weight. I didn't think they would be able to relate.

M has been with me through it all and loves me all the same, he wasn't sold on the idea of surgery at first but he's seen me struggle and knows that my weight has made me increasingly unhappy.

I was really upset on the drive home after my first surgery consult. I was just frustrated with myself. I have been successful in almost everything that I've tried, why then couldn't I just lose the weight on my own? I've accepted that I need help and the band is a tool that will do just that.

I'm looking forward to getting started tomorrow.

Day 13 weigh-in - 278.5

Day 12 Pre-op

I am actually in the 2-7's! My foothold is a bit tenuous right now but it's great as I haven't seen a number that low on the scale in a long time. At one point I had stopped weighing myself as getting on the scale just made me feel horrible about myself and my inability to control my weight. I've been weighing myself every day through this to make sure that I was in fact losing. Given the number of calories I am consuming a day it would be logical to lose weight, but there have been times when I've been doing everything right and still failed to lose. To save myself some angst I have been doing the daily weigh-ins. I have no intention of doing this after surgery; once a week should suffice.

Only one more day of pre-op before surgery. I've been thinking about the surgery and I have to say that I'm neither anxious nor nervous. I expect it to go well and I expect there to be some pain afterwards. I strongly believe in the power of positive belief and I feel very calm about the whole thing. We'll see if I feel the same on Thursday morning :0

Day 12 weigh-in - 279.5

Day 11 Pre-op

I'm still hoping to my goal of 277.5 but with only a few days to go, it may be a challenge.

Day 11 weigh-in 280.5

Day 10 Pre-op

Wow! This weekend went by in a blur. Only 3 more days until surgery. It seemed so far away for so long and as the day draws nearer I've found that I'm losing most of the nervousness and feeling really calm about the whole thing. I am really excited that there is a viable option that has worked for so many and will no doubt work for me.

I went shopping this weekend for some things that I will need post-op. Here's my list:

Pedialyte - (to restore the body's electrolytes)
Organic chicken and beef broth
Arnica Montana (recommended by a homeopath)
Chewable multi-vitamins
Non-fat yogurt
Organic apple, pear and cranberry juice

Day 10 weigh-in 281

Day 9 Pre-op

I like Saturday mornings. I have the time to read the newspaper, linger over a cup of tea and decide what to do with the day. I am going to go shoppping today for a list of things I will need post-surgery. I'll post the list tomorrow.

Day 9 weigh-in 282

Day 8 Pre-Op

Last night I was so unexcited about the prospect of having another spinach or romaine lettuce, veg, and (insert protein option here) that I just had a protein shake. I'm so bored with eating right now that I just want surgery day to get here. Just under a week to go...

I stayed busy last night by finally installing the fancy curtain rod I bought eons ago. I thought it would be a simple job but M had to step in and put his handy-man skills to work. Now that I don't spend my evenings going through my regular grazing routine i.e. snacking on any and everything from the moment I get home from work to bed-time, I have found that I'm getting so much more accomplished. I have been getting through my list of miscellaneous items at a brisk pace.

Day 8 weigh in 283

Day 7 Pre-op

I'm at the half-way mark - yay!! I have to keep telling myself that it's only 14 days out of my life, I can do anything for 14 days. I have my moments when I'm so hungry that I just want to EAT something. I deal with by having a glass of water or some herbal tea and remind myself of why I'm doing this. I've found it to be really effective.

The weight loss has really slowed down, I was getting giddy by the 2 pound daily losses. I knew that I would not continue to lose that much, but I was kind of hoping it would last through the first week. No such luck. I have not strayed from the eating plan and I think that as long as I'm following the rules then however much I lose pre-surgery is what I lose. No point in beating myself up about it. I did set a goal of losing 15 pounds pre and I'm down 9, just 6 to go. I'm just going to stick with it!

Day 7 weigh in - 283.5

Day 6 Pre-op

I'm quickly approaching the half-way mark which is great. I stepped on the scale this morning and no change from yesterday, was a bit disappointed but I'm down 8.5 lbs since I began which is great. I stuck to the diet and really didn't do anything differently yeserday, but perhaps my body is trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

I'm hoping that there is some movement downwards tomorrow.

Day 6 weigh in 284

Day 5 Pre-Op

Day 5 and it's going well. I'm not nearly as hungry as I was during the first 2 - 3 days. My approach is just to take it one day at a time. It is hard to believe that I have been able to go this long without bread. I didn't think it was humanly possible for me to subsist without it. The funny thing is I'm not even craving it.

My pre-op diet consists of the following:

Breakfast: Protein Shake, made with one cup water, a couple of tablespoons of no-fat yogurt and 1 teaspoon of flaxseed oil. Not delicious, but not horrible either.

Lunch: Spinach or Romaine lettuce with red & green peppers, mushroom and tuna or one egg or 4oz chicken.

Dinner: Same as lunch or I'll have an omelette with peppers, zucchini and mushroom.

Balsamic vinegar is the only dressing allowed so I use a bit of that on my salad as well. I've also used it as a marinade for the chicken breasts and it results in moist and tasty chicken.

Day 5 weigh in - 284

Day 4 Pre-Op

After my post yesterday morning, I spent the rest of the day trying to get the house organized. I began packing up all the Christmas stuff; it's fun to put up, not so much to pack up. I'm always impressed each year when I haul the stuff out of storage how organized everything is. It surprises me every time and I'm the one who does it, go figure. During all of that reorganization I realized that I wasn't really hungry so maybe the worst is behind me? 10 days to go.

My biggest task this week will be going through my wardrobe. That is a beast unto itself. Back to work today *sigh*, I wish I didn't have to.

Day 4 weigh in - 286

Day 3 Pre-op

When I made the decision to book the appointment for surgery I thought the pre-op diet would be easy. Hah! It's only day 3 and I'm struggling. I had to do a lot of self-talk last night to prevent myself from eating all of the wrong things. Thankfully I didn't and feel better for it this morning. Isn't this always the struggle though? Trying to convince yourself that it is not worth it to eat that piece of whatever. I know that it will still be a struggle after surgery so this is good prep.

Day 3 weigh in 287.5

Day 2 of Pre-op

My pre-op diet began yesterday and I did ok. I went to M's parents place for New Year's day dinner and I didn't want to call any attention to myself so I ate what was put in front of me. Mashed potatoes were on the menu which is a no-no but I ate it and everything else. I did not have any wine, but had dessert- a very, very small serving. From here on in I should be able to follow the diet rules. I know that there will be a couple of meal challenges when my boss is in town the week of surgery but hopefully it will just be one meal I have to navigate my way through.

Beginning weight 292.5
Day 2 weigh in 289.5