Last week I had a bit of an epiphany which has helped me regain my focus. I haven't been blogging in a while because I really didn't have anything useful to say. I didn't want to complain about my lack of weight loss (over four months stalled!) because I knew I wasn't doing the work required to get the scale moving again. That is no longer the case. I'll write more when I hit the first goal I set for myself which should happen in about two weeks. Stay tuned!

I'm still here

Thank goodness February is here. January was not a good month (my position was eliminated at work). It's a strange spot to be in; I've never been without work and I realize now just how much of my identity was tied to my job. This in-between time is challenging, trying to find a balance between job searches and enjoying the time off. I am going to approach this month with much more optimism than the last and know that I will figure it out.

Through all of this my weight has remained pretty stable, it fluctuates up or down a pound or two. I haven't been making any effort to lose weight, but I really need to regain my focus. My goal before all of this happened was to get into the ones and it starts today. Back to working out consistently and eating sensibly.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Happy New Year!

The new year always holds so much promise and possibility. I'm looking forward to living the kind of life I want in 2011 and I wish the same for all of you - a year filled with accomplishments, love, health, happiness and prosperity.

On this day last year I started my two week pre-op diet and although it was hard (day 3 was by far the hardest) I stuck with it.  A year later I am happier, more optimistic about the future and my ability to actually accomplish my goals. I know that I will reach my goal weight this year -- that's not something I would have been able to say a year ago. I know the words to be true -- I will reach my goal weight this year. It's just awesome to be able to say those words and believe them.

I always start the year with some goals and I have eleven for 2011. I'm going to post them in my side bar as well and plan to have them all crossed off the list by 12.31.11.

1. Weight in the ones
2. Weight in normal BMI range (this is also my goal weight)
3. Improve my running pace to 10 minutes / mile and under
4. Run a 10K race
5. Run a half-marathon
6. Do something out of my comfort zone every month
7. Visit France
8. Stick to the budget for the year
9. Take photography lessons
10. Spend more time with the people I love
11. Get back to making things and being creative

Baby it's cold outside!

Temperature this morning when I left the house was -12.5 degrees celcius (9.5 farenheit)and it's not supposed to warm up very much. I'm much colder now with 80+ pounds less on my body but have found that after my morning workout I'm warmer for a few hours. That's good incentive to get my rear out of bed and get on with it.

I've been out to far too many lunches and dinners to count over the last couple of weeks and although I had a game plan it's been challenging sticking to it. I've had some of the best wine and food ever and although I've been eating far less than I would have during the same time last year it's more than I should be eating. I've found it far too easy to say yes to the many tempting treats and they go down so easily. I hit a new low last week (212) but am up a pound this week. I don't think I'll hit my goal of getting into the ones by Christmas but I'm going to keep working on it. I will get there, it's just a matter of time.

There has been some interesting dialogue going on in the blogosphere, much of it has not been kind to the banded. Here's the thing, we are all trying to get healthier and for most of us that involves weight loss. There are many ways to accomplish that goal and we are doing what works for us. For the majority of people who choose gastric banding it is after in-depth research and conversations with medical professionals. It is not something that is entered into lightly and it may not be the best method for everyone.

I know that after losing and gaining weight for over half my life I wanted something that would provide long term results and this is working for me. We have all been successful at losing weight, it's the keeping it off part where many of us struggle. We know the stats; it is very difficult for dieters to maintain their weight loss in the long term. Those that are able to maintain their losses are the fortunate few rather than the norm. How many of us have sworn that we would never regain after a successful diet attempt? I know that I did. The most that I lost on a diet was years ago on WW, about 55 pounds. A year later I had regained most of it, the following year I gained another 30+. I was 100% convinced when I made that vow after WW that I had this thing beat. The embarrassment of regaining plus more started the isolation. I didn't want anyone to see me and so began the self-imposed exile. I would start another diet, stick to it for a few weeks and give up. I have lost the most weight I ever have this year and I'm maintaining what I lose. This is a huge accomplishment and I know that I will reach my goal.

Long-term weight loss is hard regardless of how we do it. There is no best way and there is no prize for how quickly one loses. We need to be kind to ourselves and to each other.

Bit by bit

Weight today is 214, finally closer to 210 than 220 and getting closer to my goal of being in the one's by Christmas.

I was at a dinner party last night and wore a pair of size 14 Gap pants from their new collection. I felt great and got lots of compliments. I hadn't seen some of the friends there since the beginning of this year and they were particularly vocal about my weight loss. As I told them it wasn't overnight, I've been working on this for 10 months - we sometimes forget, me included, that it takes time.  There was lots of good food and wine, but I stuck to my plan and had protein first, a little salad and a bit of cheese. I actually said no to both dessert and wine (!) and stuck with water. Lots more dinners and luncheons to attend in the up coming six weeks, hopefully they will all go as well as this one did.

Keep calm and carry on

I started my Christmas shopping last week as I am determined to have it all done by the end of this month. It makes December so much more pleasurable. I love everything about the holidays; the carols, family and friends, the decorations, church, the food...

The food. In the past, by this time of year I would have given up on whatever diet I was on, either because the weight loss had stalled or I had gained a few pounds. I would rationalize that "it's the holidays" I can eat, drink and be merry until the new year and start again.
This is the first year in a long time that I am not going to use the holidays as an excuse to eat with abandon regardless of the consequences. It's freaking me out a bit as there are already so many meals out that I cannot decline, not to mention all the cookies, chocolate and other goodies at the grocery store. I am developing an action plan to deal with all of this, the first being that none of those treats are coming into the house until just prior to entertaining. Any leftovers will be sent away with guests. Second, I am going to stick to the cardinal rule of protein first for all of those luncheons and dinners out. My challenge will be declining dessert, I'm hoping that I'll be full enough so that I can only have a bite or two or none at all. Third, I am going to make sure that I get my workouts in, no excuses allowed.

I plan to truly enjoy the holidays this year without feeling miserable about my weight for the the first time in a decade.

What is your action plan for the holidays?

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