Reflections on 2011 and goals for 2012

2011 was a difficult year for lots of reason. A big one was losing my job. It knocked the wind out of my sails. I wish that I had enjoyed my time off more, but didn't as the work of finding a new job can also be all-consuming. I was back to work (at a new job) in a few months and it's been fine, but I'm still trying to figure out what I can do to fill my days with more joy. I was at spin class on new year's eve and the instructor asked us to think about our best moment of  2011 and I couldn't. There wasn't one thing that I could call to mind. Sad, but true and that perfectly sums up my 2011.

I am still working on culling the list of all I want to accomplish in 2012, but first on my list is getting to my goal weight of 159 pounds. That's just over 40 pounds away and totally doable if I lose just 4 pounds a month. So that's what I am going to do. I'll report how I do at the end of each month.

I haven't had a fill in over a year and don't think that I need one. I do plan to go in for an annual visit to my surgery clinic to discuss my port.  It doesn't lie flat, rather it's on an angle which looks really freaky when I'm lying on my back. It's been like that since I went in for my first fill six weeks post surgery. It's really noticeable now as I've lost a good deal of the fat layer. I know that I will need port revision surgery to fix it, something that I'm not looking forward to but will do once I hit my goal weight.

In the almost two years since surgery I have not regretted my decision. I still turn to food for solace sometimes but that happens far, far less frequently than pre-surgery. I am much more confident in myself and my body. I no longer feel trapped under all the weight. I exercise because it feels good. I weigh myself almost every day even when I know the number will be up. This year I want to make my body as strong and as fit as I can. I have accepted that it will never look some of the celebrity bodies I admire but I can make it my best body.