An excerpt from my journal circa 2000

"I don't know when it happened, when I got lost or rather when I lost myself. I went for my yearly physical last Monday and according to the doctor's scale I weigh 210 pounds. When I saw the number I couldn't believe it. Part of me knew it was bad, but where, when, how? When did I give up on myself? I have lost sight of everything and I don't know how to find my way back. I do know that I have to lose this weight. I must, it cannot be good for my health and this is not me. I do take complete responsibility for gaining all of this weight, it was my doing. It is easier to keep sinking than to try and pull myself up, but no more it has to stop."
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I recently found some old journals and the above entry. When I had my first consultation for lap-band surgery, I weighed 295 pounds and at the start of my pre-op diet in January I was 292.5. It has taken me a while to find my way, but I truly believe that I have.
I weighed anywhere from 125 - 140 through most of my teens. Then things seemed to start spiraling out of control around me and I turned to food for comfort and stopped working out (I had always worked out). I gained weight very quickly; I moved from 130-something to 210 in less than  5 years. I haven't been out of the 2's since that physical in 2000.  I feel great about myself even though I weigh more than I did when I made that journal entry. It's amazing how the perspective changes. I know for some bloggers reaching the 1's has been anti-climatic, but for me it's been an elusive goal for over a decade. I finally believe and know that I will get there.